人の話の9割は聞く必要ない

考えたこと

こんにちわ


「何かを始めるならまず”自分をだます”必要がある」の続きです。今回は「人の話の9割は聞く必要ない」ということについてお話ししたいと思います。


あくまで”何かを始めるなら”ということですので、「普段から人の話を聞かなくていい」ということではありません。
先に残された1割の部分はなにかを説明したいと思います。ズバッと言ってしまうと「上司や先輩など、自分よりも経験値の高いや技術のある人の話は進んで聞け」ということです。
「あなたが間違ったことをすることでなにかしらの不利益を被る人」と言い換えてもいいかもしれません。

手法や考え方は必ず学ぶべきです。
単純に”自己流”で完璧になる人なんてほとんどいません。
現代のあらゆることは科学的に、論理的に説明されています。

あなたが自己流に行ってうまくいくことはそれほど多くありません。
時間をかけて”自己流”を貫いた先でたどり着いたものは、先に誰かがたどり着いたものかもしれません。

そこに時間をかけるぐらいならば、すでにできている人から学ぶほうが効率的だとは思いませんか?
効率的に学んでから、習熟度を上げることに時間を使うほうが圧倒的に良いと考えます。
聞いた上で”試す”という意味でだったり、「自己流で始めたけどどうにもうまくいかない」、「一回調べてから反省材料にして改善しよう」


そんな感じで行うぶんにはなんの問題もないとは思います。
タイミングに差はあると思いますが、徹頭徹尾”自己流”で行う人はうまくいきません。うまくいったとしたら”天才”と呼ばれる部類の人だと思います。
そこを理解してもらった上で、どうかお付き合いください。


人の話の9割は聞く必要ないと思う理由


まずどんなときにあなたは「人の意見を聞こう」と考えますか?
大多数の人は「なにかしらの新しいこと、初めてやること」をするときに意見を聞くでしょう。
「これってどう思う?」とか「こんなやり方をしようと思うんだけど」とかですね

次に考えてほしいのは、「あなただったらどんな風に考えて答えたか」ということと「実際聞いたときにどんな風に答えが返ってきたか」です。

いままであなたは相談された際にどう答えてきましたか?
友人や後輩から相談されたときに、どれだけ本気になって考えたでしょうか

反対に相談したときにどんな答えが返ってきましたか?
おそらくですが、そこまで真剣に悩んだ上での答えが返ってきたことはあまりないと思います。

僕は「大多数の人間は責任を持って答えない」と考えています。
冒頭で話したように「上司や先輩など、自分よりも経験値の高いや技術のある人の話は進んで聞け」とは思います。
上司や先輩には「部下や後輩を育てる」という責任を持った立場だということもあります。

先ほどの「あなただったらどんな風に考えて答えたか」で考えましょう。
あなたは相談されたときに「この質問にしっかりと答えることは自分の責任だ」と考えて答えていましたか?

部下や後輩の成長に関わることならば、もしかしたらそこまで考えていたと思います。

それが先輩や上司の役割ですから。
ですがそうでないとき、あなたは責任を感じて答えてきましたか?おそらく考えていないと思います。
そしてそれはほかの人もそうです。
全てのことに本気で、どんなことにも責任を持って答える人などいるのでしょうか?

ある程度真剣には答えているでしょう。
ですが「自分の返答の仕方如何で相手の人生が変わる」というようには考えないでしょう。
仕方ないのです。
他人の人生を背負う必要なんてひとつもないです。
悲しいことかもしれません。
寂しい考え方かもしれません。
しかし、他人の人生を背負うくらいならば、まずは自分の人生を頑張るほうがよっぽどよいことです。

そう考えたときに「相談する」ということをした際に、どれだけ「有益な答え」があるのでしょうか自分の本気の発言がまるでドラマや笑い話のような”エンターテイメント”のような扱いをされたり、時間をたっぷりかけてなんの答えも返ってこないこともあるでしょう。
そこに時間を使う意味はあるのでしょうか

それだったら「責任を持って有益な情報をくれる1割の人」に対して時間を使うのが最も効率のよいことだと僕は考えます。


人からの評価を気にする必要がない


それでもどうしても不安なときに「話を聞いてもらうだけでいい」と思うときもあるでしょう。
それは全く問題ないと思います。
「不安を解消してくれる」という意味で有益だと思います。

大切なのは「そこで返ってきた個人的な意見を気にする必要なんてない」ということです。

先ほども話したように「責任を持って答える人」というのはそれほど多くありません。
そんな中で「俺ならやらないね」とか「そんなやり方が通じると思ってるの?」とかそんな意見を聞く必要なんてないのです。
同じ人間、同じ時代、同じ環境ですらない場合は成功することの再現性は低いのです。

そんななかで言われる”個人的な感想”とはいったいどれくらい意味のあるものなのでしょうか?
成功への再現性を上げる方法は勉強したり、調べたりすることだけです。

”感想を集める”ことではありません。
”学んで行動する”ということだけなんです。


必要のない”常識”もある

感想というものは「自分の中の常識という枠の中から考えた個人的な意見」だと思っています。
同じ答えでも国籍や年齢が違えば、返ってくる答えは自然と変わってきます。
それはここまで育んできた「常識」が違うからです。

では「常識」とはなんでしょうか僕は「人生の中で積み重ねた偏見の集合体」だと考えます。
「常識」とは「正解の考え方」ではないのです。

江戸時代に常識とされたことは、いまは常識とはされていません。
では大正や明治では?
昭和ではどうでしょうか
10年前では?

常識というものは、ほんの小さな要因で移り変わるものなのです。
そんなものなのにも関わらず、まるで「1+1=2になる」といったものと並列なことのように、「雨が降ったら濡れる」ということと同じように「絶対に変わらない答え」かのように言う人がいるのです。

先に話したように、例え同じ時代に生まれていたとしても国が違えば常識は変わります。
日本で常識とされていることは、アフリカでも常識ですか?

同じ時代、同じ場所にいたとしても年齢が違えば常識は変わります。
16歳の高校1年生の常識は40歳のサラリーマンの常識と同じですか?
常識というものは簡単に移り変わるものなのです。
それにとらわれる必要なんてないのです。

「みんなやらないって言ってるからやらない」とか「常識的に考えろ」とかそれになんの価値があるんでしょうか
「これをやらないと命に関わる重大なことだ」とか「これを行う上でこういったことを学ぶ必要がある」とか必要な知識や技術で積み重ねられ、作り上げ、研鑽され続ける”常識”には価値があるのです。


いかがでしょうか

「人の話の9割は聞く必要ない」ということは理解してもらえたでしょうか

  1. 人の話の9割は聞く必要ないと思う理由
    →「責任を持った答え」をくれる人はそれほど多くない
  2. 人からの評価を気にする必要がない
    →”感想”を集める必要ない、必要なのは”考えることと行動すること
  3. ”必要のない”常識”もある
    →必要なのは知識と技術で研鑽され続ける常識にのみ価値がある

ということです。
次回で最後の項目にしたいと思います。
次回もお付き合いください。

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